RNC—Day 2-and-a-half
Romney? Huckabee? VP nominee? It must be... Wednesday at the RNC!
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Tee-hee.

To start y'all off, here's Romney's prepared remarks, folks.
Heh, was just coming here to make a thread.

Romney is up. GREAT hair.
Whoops and there goes Romney... Short speech?
I don't know about anything else but I want to buy a used car from this guy.
I've heard that Palin is going back to Alaska tomorrow, can anyone confirm? 'Cause that would be odd, shouldn't she be campaigning?
It's startling as they pan through the crowd: It really does seem to be just a bunch of old, white people.
Yeah, Chuck Todd's reporting that Palin's returning to Alaska after the convention. Very weird. That's not going to look good at all. It's just going to amplify the blood-in-the-water scent the media's been circling around.
Middle-aged Republican conventiongoers doing that shoulders-only dance thing and lipsyncing to dated pop music = why am I making myself watch this.
I loved this:

It’s the same path Europe took a few decades ago. It leads to moribund growth and double-digit unemployment.

And by "loved" I mean "hated", because it's full of shit. Unemployment for the EU27 is at 6.7% (PDF!!) per the latest annual report, and it's in double digits in... um, exactly nowhere.
Ah, the talking points: Obama was just a community activist, which sounds subtlety like "black guy."
And now, Mike "Not the VP nom" Huckabee. Among all these guys I don't like, I kind of liked him. In a not-for-president sort of way.
Huckabee's remarks (prepared)
Madonna concert. Topical, Mike.
Huckabee: McCain has stubborn intergrity! 1337 Media! Madonna is tacky! Hey, we're really not racists, I swear!
I suppose I should find out if this is actually the snarky live-blogging room before I really get into it.
Is this the snarky live-blogging room?
Yeah, it's the snarky live-blogging room.
What Huckabee is doing good is pointedly attack Obama and attempting to paint him a certain way.
Oh man, this is my first snarky live-blogging room ever!
European ideas!

It's true, I want to destroy America. On the upside though, he didn't say "200,000 Germans" like everyone else, because there were all kinds of people there -- European, American and other -- and if there's one thing we Dutch hate being called even more than Danish is German. Oh hi cortex!
Welcome neroli! Now get snarkin'.
gnfti, I've always found you to be one of the nicest Danes I've ever known.
DON'T INFLATE YOUR TIRES! THE GOVERNMENT IS BAD!
Oh snap, Sarah Palin got more votes than Joe Biden!
Whoa, wait, John McCain was in the military?!
Ooh, that Biden reference is just made for mashing into a probama message for a YouTube cutup or whatever.

He deviates from the prepared remarks a lot.
And don't forget guys, Colbert made this guy.
"When John McCain received his country's call to service", he said, 'Yes sir, Mr. Lincoln."
Yeah, the zing at Biden wasn't bad. But how weird is it that inflating your tires is a godless liberal practice now?
Huh, the roll call is after Palin's speech. Do they want to make sure no one's gonna watch it?
He can't even lift his arms!

(Because he fell out of a plane.)
This desk story is terrible.
I spent the day cleaning my mom's house and watching Fox news.
The military earned everyone an education?!
I just totally went there, didn't I.
Yeah, he almost had me until the desk story.
You get a desk because of war. And...municipal tax dollars?

Freedom dollars, maybe?

I hope McCain marches out with a desk tonight.
HUZZAH! NOW GIVE THE MAN A DESK
John McCain bought me a school desk! You too!

(so what were those chinese desk makers doing all that time?)

Classic red meat speech though.
Good catch on the roll call. I wonder what that's about. All sorts of crazy stuff it could mean.
JOHN MCCAIN IS YOUR NEW SCHOOL DESK
Ohhhh. Aiming for desk in the oval office. That's...that's tying it up, I guess.
Can I have a pen too?
Mike, George is leaving the oval office, it won't be a school desk anymore!
Not to mention, AK and AZ are at the top of the alphabet last time I looked, so don't blink, the first part should be a blurringly fast game of yielding-the-floor.
EARN THE DESK!
FENCE THE BUILD!
They seem to have fixed their Build The Fence ordering; saw it on a cutaway during the break. Alas.
"a unique combination of toughness and grace"

Gruffness?
As of now, the Palin Withdrawal Index is at 11.5%. Will it rise or fall tonight?
Why is John McCain pushing for change in Washington if he's been there all the time?
I am not watching the convention (because Bones is on) but I wanted to point out that NASCAR cares deeply about tire inflation.
Man, I was thinking the HI gov woulda been a better nom. But her speech sucks ass. Maybe the crow is cold?
Take that, mere words! Eloquence can go fuck itself!
Wasilla only has more people than anyone has credibly claimed it has even now, let alone when Palin was in office. Weird.
I suppose they're just being sympathetic to programmers. Which code-wrangler does not relate to having to fence the build from time to time?
Palin CAN'T back out, the Daily Show has plans.
Like trying to run with "some have criticized McCain for having two houses!"
11%? one-in-ten seems low, am I interpreting that right? I feel like it's at least 1 in 4 considering the MSNBC reportage on her imminent retreat to Alaska.

And WTF is the population of Wasilla? It's anywhere from 5k - 10k. WTF people, consult a damn census much?
Actually, Wasilla had about 4,000 people when Palin was mayor.
ZERO!
ZERO!
ZERO!
I think Sarah brought Wal-Mart in and that doubled the population. Or something.
You know who else has ZERO executive experience?

John McCain.
You want some crowd footage to splice into a jokey edit of McCain speaking, there it is.
According to wikipedia: As of the 2000 census, its population was 5,469, but the 2005 estimate gave a population of 8,471.
Seriously, is there some way someone could shoot down, once and for all, this magical use of the word "executive"?
man those bleachers are empty...
Geez, the place looks like an AARP convention.
Size matters.
Not only does Alaska have the same number of electoral votes as Delaware; it also has ridiculously low population density.

TAKE THAT, DEMOCRATS.
Alaska's just like Delaware!

'cept for that distance and weather and larger population.
neroli, i think this does a good job. it's a timeline of what she did and for how long and compares it to obama. http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/9/2/1613/27485/447/581295

I think it's from The Thread.
Sarah Palin: SHE HAS A VAGINA.
Yeah, with this kind of build up, there's no way she's backing out, even if she wanted to.
Shit, I thought that was an introduction. Anyone else notice the signal to noise ratio being much lower than at this time last week?
Yes, cameraman. Linger on the bosom of the teenage mom-to-be that we're not supposed to be talking about.
The Dems didn't need to get the base fired up, the Repubs DO.
9/11! How long 'till Rudy mentions it?
"They're now moving male delegates out of the front deck of seats and moving female delegates in there, in preparation for Palin's speech (according to one of the MSNBC people on the floor)." -- Flunkie in The Thread
Rudy!

This guy was mayor of your country or something, right?
90 seconds in, brandonb.
Time to 9/11 countdown. Make your bets.
Shit, too slow. I'm putting it at 2:30.
"I lost badly! Ha ha! Laugh now!"
"USA! USA!"

"Shut up, I'm TALKING!"
Giuliani's remarks (prepared)
Leave to to Rudy to think a chant of U S A! U S A! is for him.
POW POW POW!
Whoa, wait, McCain was tortured?
You have two applicants for a job...

...AND ONE CAN'T LIFT UP HIS ARMS!!!!!
Maybe they figured out how to reprogram Rudy. Intense hypnotherapy sessions to replace "9/11" with "POW".
Wow, McCain ran for Congress and then the Senate. The things you learn.
Shhhhhh! We don't use the T-word around here, mister.
CAN'T! LIFT! UP! HIS! ARMS!
The extended laugh-at-Obama sequence is pretty gross here. Rudy is not the guy to pull that off without seeming ubercreepy.
"community organizer" = fag
Rudy is in embarrassing drunken uncle territory. Gods.
"Present"! Like it's a gift!
BOOOO POLITICS!!

Did they finalize a platform?
Yeah, it's coming across as weirdly smug and petty. I think they should be treading a little more carefully.
NEVER LET RUDY LAUGH OH GOD
Yeah, that damn Obama, he couldn't even pick his own VP.
CACKLE
Cackling.
Three comments in a row have gone poof. Weird.
Cackle, Rudy! Cackle!
Crisis! Here it comes....
I've got comments totally disappearing here. It's weird.
Um, he lead a campaign that beat everyone else.
He's the least experience candidate since at least Lincoln! And who doesn't hate him, right??? AMIRIGHTGUYZ!!!!!!NINEELEVEN!!!
Rudy's smug laugh is perfect for a dance remix.
He's the least experienced canididate since at least Lincoln! And who doesn't hate him, AMIRITENINELEVEN??
John McCain, Uber protector.
Thanks for live blogging this everyone. I just can't force myself to actually watch it and I appreciate that you all are giving a great play-by-play.
Wait, there's *good* change?
Even for red meat rhetoric this is weak. Total yawnsville. Good Change vs. Bad Change? Is Sexual Harassment Panda coming out next?
Posts aren't getting thru.
9/11!!!!!
OK, now I'm watching the convention.

9/11!
Comments back, apologies, didn't expect to hit the comment limit so soon
What butterstick said. Seems fine again now though.
Yay! Thank god.
Victory over Nouns!
Rudy, people don't actually know the answers to these questions because they're kind of complicated.
He who is tired of London is tired of America... wait, what?
Rudy, do you really want to examine who's changed positions on what? I don't think you do.
Oh, shot of Rep. Bachmann on CNN. Did anyone see her on Larry King in 'debate' with Carville?
This is not a well-constructed speech.
Rudy is starting to scare me. He's enjoying this a bit too much.
Making a "presidential candidate x may change his mind about his VP candidate, lol" joke might not be that clever, either.
If I were Joe Biden, I'd start figuring out what it is that the VP does all day right. now.
Someone rescue that baby from Skeletor!
I was hoping we'd get the 9/11 mention at 9:11 local time.
"Wait, we're Georgi--uh, yaaaaAAAAYYYyyyiguess?"
McCain for President of Georgia! Obama for Secretary-General of the UN!
Rudy would be great with five year olds.
Are there any CDs of this guy's work?
Rudy's role: Zell Miller of 2008
"Next time, call John McCain [for advice on foreign policy decisions]"? Uh, he just might, Rudy, he just might.
"Like Ronald Reagan..."

There it is.
No, she isn't the most popular. Our gubner down heah has better ratings than Palin.
Rudy has gone into drag mode.
I thought the VP was the traditional attack dog.

Wish someone would post the Obama on O'Reilly to youtube already.
Palin "represents a new generation"

Um...maybe not the best choice of words?
I want a ytmnd of him saying "CosmoPAAAHLatin" in a short loop, and I want it yesterday.
Evil smells like Vapo-Rub, Drakkar Noir, and Vitalis.
He's right. She once evacuated all of Lower Wasilla during them coordinated moose attacks. On foot.

A day that will live in infamy.
Rudy really does love himself, oh yes. and what does Rudy love most about himself? HIS VOICE.
McCain is looking, with his VP choice, to the future, when there's a good chance he'll be dead. Okay.
We're all doing the RNC drinking game, right?
Rudy just got FAB-ulous there for a sec.
How dare they raise the subject of time management?!
Cornered bunch of rats.

And now Rudy's a feminist?!
Let's be fair. Giuliani's speech is easily the most rousing one of the 2004 RNC so far.
Giving workers the right to work. Arbeit macht frei.
To ending Slavery...and jumping parties when they wanted to drink from OUR water fountains.
"We're the party that believes in giving workers the right to work!" Fuck unions!
Yeah, but the only way I can play the RNC drinking game is if I do a shot for each policy statement. If I drank for each code word, dog whistle, talking point or mindless smear I'd be dead.
Geez, he's dragging on. There's no way Palin finishes her speech by 10:00.
Let's shake this moneymaker and Move! Your! Ass!

*cue daddy yankee*
Showtime!
Okay! Go time!
OH GOD IM STOKED
heeeeeeere she is, Miss Alaaaaaaaaaaassska.....
T! G! S!
T! G! S!
The daughter isn't holding the baby NOW is she?
Finally it's fucking GO TIME. Popcorn? check. Beer? check.
Please media, STOP invading the privacy of her kids. Turn the cameras away. Gosh.
B's fiance isn't great with spotting the camera.
Goddamn, I'm so pumped, I could take on all you liberals right now!
Her do is shaped the creature's head from Alien.
Missed Congeniality
Every time she says "thank you so much" I have to think of that "Truly Fully Licensed Hairstylist" song.
No, thank YOU!
Wait, she isn't nominated yet, is she?
OMG she sounds like Marge from Fargo. Dontcha know.
So much for turning it down. That was quick and decisive.
What's the lapel pin?
She's not reading this as well as I expected her to. Maybe she has to get warmed up, but she feels flat so far.
Tough fights are won by curling into a ball for 5 years....
She knows his middle initial. She's been studying.
"they overlooked the caliber of the man...and if there's one thing I know, it's caliber."
AND HE NEVER WASHED THAT UNIFORM AT ANY POINT AND I HAVE IT RIGHT HERE APPLAUSE
Victory is in sight in Iraq? Great! Bring the troops home, then. Oh right. They're there for 100 years.
After Rudy, she sounds like a lightweight who's never read off a teleprompter.
I'M A MOM
WAR
KIDS IN WAR
She will say an extra prairie tonight. That's a relief.
I'm so glad she's keeping her kids out of the spotlight. Especially the one shipping of to Iraq.

Especially him.
Time for a shoutout to war hero John Kerry, surely
Honesty: she looks poised, fired up. Human, even.
I think she's had voice lessons since Friday. Much less like Karen from "Will and Grace". And the accent is toned down a lot.

Coming back, though.
Please, tell us more about your children. Then castigate the media for asking about them.
And what's that poor baby still doing up? Much less passed from photo-op to photo-op?
Bristo's husband: "Whoa, I said you were hot, why do I have to wear this damn suit?!"
This is fucking gruesome.
I'm gonna sleep better knowing the VP.... has a family? WTF?
Yeah, tonally she's fine.
fivethirtyeight: "The RNC schedule had a [Palin] video tribute scheduled, but Rudy was too busy enjoying his 30-minute prime time speech. They scrapped the video."
"I have a message for you..."

With that black background, it was like Mork From Ork.
OMG there are union members in her family!

*crowd grumbles uneasily*
Wow, her son is deploying on 9/11? I hope Cheney remembered to get him a going away present.
It is a bizarrely softball speech so far.
YOU SAID THIS WAS PROM BRISTOL
Todd handing off the baby: "Breastfeed your brother."
Quite a package.
Seriously gruesome. Barbara Walters is gonna sue someone for format theft.
Every door except an abortion clinic
HAI GUIZE IM JUST LIKE U
"something something—AND MY PARENTS ARE HERE TONIGHT"
Hooray for parents!
Yeah, cortex, lots of fluff. Lot's of family values and Praising Cain.

I don't think that will last though.
Hey now, drezdn, easy there.
She has parents? I'd TOTALLY vote her her.

Even more so since they're "proud for America".
Wait - the working class "fight our wars" -- that's a bug, not a feature.
No cheering for Harry Truman... Oh, yeah, he was a Democrat.
<a >spit take</a>
Hooray for pitbulls!
Watch it lady. I own a pitbull.
PUT THAT POOR BABY TO BED.
DAMMIT

DREZDN YOU ARE EVIL AND FUNNY THAT IS ALL
I heard cheers -- maybe it was for haberdashers.
Going back to that Community Organizer thing again. This is such a questionable tack to take.
This is the point where she breaks into fluent Russian.
Ooh, quick shot of someone being escorted out while throwing up a peace sign.
HURF DURF COMMUNITY ORGANIZING!
How about hacks who talk one way on air and another way off air?
And you know who else was a community organizer, don't you?
"Wherever he goes, whoever is listening, whichever house he eats dinner at that night..."
Hooray San Francisco!
"San Francisco" = fag
Yes, that reason ALONE.
ok we need favorites here on politicalfilter, pronto
Again with this "Washington Elite" stuff. When her prospective boss has been there for 26 years or whatever.
Ooh, next she's going to say how she stood up to Big Oil.

Fun!
A servant's heart=Christian
She will carry herself, and a desk, in this spirit.
So I guess she's gonna stop dodging her deposition?
BIG OIL! We have it! Well done, gnfti!
When I stood up to the lobbyists, and the special interests...and the librarians...
"government back on the side of the people" == left Wasilia $22 million in debt.
YAY FOR EBAY!
MCCAIN HAS A JET

CINDY LETS HIM FLY AROUND IN IT
I sold a jet on ebay, just like you!
Hooray ebay!
gnfti ftw

Seems like if any civil servant needs a private plane, it'd be the governor of Alaska. Just sayin'.

And no personal chef!

SHE'S ONE OF US
The self-deprecating cooking aside has to feel like an off-the-cuff aside or it DOESN'T WORK.
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